Aug 2005

5 august 2005

here and back again....fcuking blimey

yep, this time i am back to london, the city where it endured the bombings of the Luftwaft (cool german planes with even cooler uniforms) during the WW2, and also the city that endured the bombings of yet another Arabht (just to rythme it with luftwaft). bought me ticket, single from oxford to London for 10 pounds, although this single ticket (1 way) is just a bit cheaper than the return ticket (2 way) that is about 12 pounds! 2 pounds diference, i always wonder who was the fcuking brit who invented these kind of rates. no wonder these brits are perculiar creatures! stopped at Notting Hill gate, and wondered whether i recognized any of the streets featured in NottingHill movie (starring Julia Roberts and that perculiaar brit wats his name.... oh, Huge Grant). whether his nether regions are huge or not , but all the girls will be gasping 'hugh!!!'. nope, there were no familiar street vendors in todays movie of 'my adventure in the city tube'.

A HOUSE OF NATIONALITIES
bought myself a travelcard for zone 1 n 2. was towing my bags like a dumpster truck. its hard to be pulling a trowley full of unwashed clothes and smelly underwear. i just wish my condolences if any police officer would be dumb enough to inspect me and my bag to get a full smell of unwashed undies. made my way to Kings cross and got me self a room in a motel for 12 pounds a night. i would have wnated to go to YMCA, but here in london, they dont have dormitaries, just single and double beds, the cost will be as astrocies as the astrocities committed in Bosnia. and the backpackers lodge here is out of 10 bed dormitaries (12 pounds), instead have 6 bed dorms ( 18 to 19 pounds, depending whether weekdays or weekends). in the motel that i am currently logging in, i stayed in a 4 bed room. there i met Al (not his real name, nope, not because i respect his privacy rights... i dont give a damn. only thing is, i am not good with names, heck, if someone says 'gerry', i would say 'who?') , an italian artisan, scraping a living working as a potrait artist. even artish here in europe have a hard time earning a living. he says he is a designer of sorts, did not press further. i have met italians before, but they were as customers in my old restaurant. under my bed would be Compadre (not his real name, C for short), a 19 year old mexican. it would be suprising to see a mexican here, since most of them imigrate to the US of Ass. he has a student visa and wishes to further his studies in architecture. like me , he has been in england for 3 months. currently he is working as a painter , not the art type, but just a painter of walls. we talked about us being immigrants working our asses of to make a decent living and trying to support our selves and families, and not causing trouble. the government should be so strict on us, cause we are contributing to the economy. no brit would like to work in our shoes. and see how the people who bombed the tubes, they are british citizens and are getting help and money from the government.

WHM meeting

i met one of the WHMakers (KF, his name i remember, but for the sake of anonimity, initials are given) in london, he is currently jobless and has worked many tyupes of jobs. not all people with WHM would be heavenly received by the brit companies, so one must struggle first. things hopefully will be alright with him. both of us went out and had dinner in a chinese restaurant. this is the first time i have paid for a chinese meal and it only cost 8 pounds, i paid for my fren (oh my god, gasp!, gerry paid for someone else, other than himself! heaven has collapsed). both of us were at canary wharf overlooking the capital business heart of london. it was a beautiful sight to see skyscrapers blooming to the sky. both of us were in a bar next to the river and accounting and telling tales of our adventures. i had be self 2 pints of beer and by the end of the session, i could have fucked a trash can and still be satisfied. i was so tipsy, my fren was really worried i could not find my way through the tubes. putting on my ear phones, turned on loud music and walked the tubes like a fucking sperm in the fallopia tube, wriggling like a worm. sat my ass near a chinese babe hottie, may be a bit older, and wanted to ask her if i could kiss her. just perished the thought and try to not act to drunk. at last found my motel, took my bath and went to sleep. with KF's recommendations of where to go, im ready to explore london again.
cheers and goodluck. today should not have bombs, its a friday, not a thursday. fridays a holy day (not holiday) for the muslims, so no holy deaths planned

6 august 2005

London, oh great london of old. got my self a travel card for zone 1 and zone 2 for 4.70p. apparently travelcard for zone 1 only also cost the same. took the tubes to westminster abbey, where the prime minister does his thing. the big ben howers above with its clock and thank god this is not malaysia. if it is, all the tourist will be looking at their watches to see if the time shown in their watches are the same as the time shown at most broken watch tower in malaysia. there is a british air way ferris wheel next to the river. it is a big ass wheel. it looks marvelous, and i dont think they can just dismantle it and move to another town like a moving circus act. if it were to run off its spoke wheel, all it could do is sink into the river thames. half submerged in water, it would look good as a worse case scenario, just like the one in Independence Day, the Liberty hosting its torch above the water.

LONG ONE MATE, CHEERS

I have made an intelligent guess that all brits dont have a shy attitude towards their counter parts. as one can see from their toilet, the male urinals stand along each other and there is not bloody divider between the urinals. one could just go and have a piss and is one were to look side ways and not stare at the wall, one would just go 'bloody hell, thats the longest i've ever seen in me bloody life....cheers mate, use it well, the force is with you! '. there you have it, british decency down the drain and into the urinal hole.

INTELLIGENT CHATTER

me and my friend KF just had an intelligent discussion while riding a bus to a watering hole (pub, not a toilet). we talked about love, life and marriage. it seems we gave marriage in the context of love, a shelf life of 4 years, if the couple is lucky enough. most of the time, love continues just for 2 years after the wedding ceremony. to keep the marriage going on and stable, a child is needed to put on the hand cuffs between husband and wife, so that they would get a divorce. thats our immature view of the situation called marriage. one might say, the same hole dug all over again makes it bigger for sure and not worth digging again. thats why a lot of men love to find new grounds to dig a hole... you know what i mean? as i said in my last vonversation, more and more people choose to be a singleton and just have a life of temporary girlfrens or boy frens or lesbian and gay pals. what ever.....

HARROD's LEPRECHAUN

well, the first time i encountered Harrods was looking at a small green plastic bag that i got from one of my customers in Sungai Petani, by the name of Dr Louis Leh. he is one of the genuine friends i have got in my work as a professional medical sales representative. both of us were trading stuff, so i got back my stuff in a plastic bag of Harrods. Harrods is just outside the tube station at Knightsbridge. it looks big like a shopping centre, almost the same size as a Tesco i guess. inside, the floor is covered in green carpeting. the place has a majestic feel to it. stuff here is almost the same as stuff anywhere, only thing is, it has more workers or sales people dressed up more stylelishly. even the toilets have a robot, usually a black robot that might serve you by making you feel useless by spraying hand lotion on to your hands and giving you a spray of prefume, as if the person just came out of the rubbish dump. thats a good service. even they have a water dispensing unit in the toilet, but i dare say it taste something like the water flushed from its toilet bowls. anyway, harrods is a good place to hang out. classy shopping centre. also i was impressed by their bookstore that have, i think a full collection of Isaac Asimov's foundation series, like foundation, foundation and empire, second foundation, foundation and earth, forward the foundation and foundations's edge. dissappointingly, they do not have Prelude to foundation, which in my opinion quite a favourite to me. i read it while i was in oxford. another book that i liked was Caves of Steel, and i found the second chapter or the continuation of it , called the Naked Sun.... and all this has nothing to do with sex, mind you.

LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU

in london, there are many entertainers, street ones. i was quite amused by such person who was doing street magic with balls and a cup. making the balls dissapear. it wasnt much the magic that entralled me, it was his way of presenting it with tomgue in cheek humor. anyway i did something i could never believe i could do, i gave him 50p for his splendid performance. there were of course some people playing an intrument like a guitar, a violin. a girl was playing a familiar tune, i think it was the Bach's Partita iii fur Violin Solo in E Note. so dropped a 20p. she was in the hole, i mean in the tube crossways.

SOUTH KENSINGTON

in this place, it is near the Fulham and Chelsea area. it is a high class end of london. here i found a restaurant owned by a malaysian and it was really quite cheap. i had my self a Yeung Chow fried rice and a can of coke for only 3.60p. the coke was 0.60p (in contrast to 0.90 sold in my previous restaurant) and the rice was only 3 pounds. previous place i think had one with a price of 5 pounds plus. such a big difference, they dont even have a 10% service charge... wow, such a cheap place with good food. i will be back to this area because the Science Museum and Natural History is located near here. might try other dishes here.

SAATCHI GALLERY

there was an art gallery next to the river thames and also a stones throw (if you have supermans strengh ) from the big ben. saw some art gallery and there was one particular art that fills half of the room with water and the reflection of the water is the art form. really modern and bizarre. after the show of arts, went into one of the theaters and watched a chinese film with english subtitles. i guess i watched for an hour for free.

MALAYSIA UNFORGOTTEN

a friend recommended me to go and find the malaysian embassy which is located in Bayswater. underneath the embassy is a place called malaysian hall and it sells malaysian food. i ordered some nasi minyak with curry daging and it was extremely heavenly to taste malay food after 3 months of fasting from spicy food. all in all, it cost me 4.80p which is quite alright. just food for thought, 4,80 times the current currency value of 6.799 and the meal cost 32.59 ringgit. now the diffrence in value of the ringgit has widened since last week , which was at a low at 6.50. even the americans complain about the cost of things and food here in this land of gloom. they say it is twice as expensive as the cost in America. of course i said it was due to the diferrence in currency, but they say that things here cost more due to service charge, VAT and other forms of taxation that the government love to introduce.

ARSENAL, DEAR HOME OF MY HEART

i went to arsenal, i had to do it. i was to me what Mekka was to the muslim people. i come here to pray to my favourite gods. i talked to some people before coming here, they say to be careful of your surroundings because it is a negros area. well, i never knew my arsenal was in the ghettos. i walked to Highbury, the name of the stadium, but i could not even see the outline of the structure. it was just one bit wall with Arsenal written on it. a worker in the tube said that the stadium is surrounded by houses, so it was hard to see the stadium. only some parts of the stadium is visible from the outside. i then went to the new stadium, called the Emirates Stadium which can house 60 thousand spectators compared to the 40 thousand in Highbury. it was still in construction with the tall cranes silhoutting the dark blue sky. it was only a ten minutes walk from the old stadium. i cant wait for the kick off match between Arsenal and Chelsea this sunday. the match is at 3pm.... very eager, eager indeed.

COVENT GARDEN. GARDEN OF EDEN FOR DRUNKS AND PARTYGOERS

went to covent garden for a pint of beer. found myself a quiet bar and started away counting my expenses for this 6 day journey from oxford to Bath, to Cardiff, back to Oxford, then to London for 3 nights. for 6 days, i have spent almost 3 weeks worth of salary( 1 week earnings around 160 pounds).
there were a lot of beca or tricycles around, reminds me of penang island, minus the old timers riding it, here it is youngsters who are predominantly not british. i got lost and could not find the tube station. so i asked around and a 2 passerbys gave me the wrong direction. bloody assholes, i guess they were real drunk. but at last i found a group which pointed me the right way. 2 brit guys (can always tell a brit by the smell of beer) and a girl. tired to ask the guys, but i knew they were drunk already, so i asked the girl instead.

EXPENSES HIGH FOR TRAVEL

bought my self a ticket to chesterfield which cost me 51 pounds. that s pretty expensive for a trip train right... anyway, thats the destination to destiny...

SHE AINT A LOOKER,
SO, SHE AINT A HOOKER,
TONIGHT, YOU ARE NOT A FUCKER,
SO, YOU ARE A WANKER!

shakespear's forgotten diary of a perverted mind....

1st august 2005

it is the time of consolidation and pondering. yesterday was my last day at work and i packed my stuff and ready to go back packing to the countryside. i left most of my stuff with one of my colleagues and i only packed enough for a weeks trip. tooth brush, 3 underwear (including the one im wearing) 2 shirts, one raincoat, a sweater, water, map and others. damn, i forgot my soap, towel and shampoo. any how, will improvise when i get to where i want to go.

i decided to take this opportunity of unemploymentness to go exploring to other cities. my first stop after handing out my keys to the manager was to head to oxford town centre and buy me a loaf of bread at 39p. then i was of to my fav kfc where i bought myself a 2 piece meal for 2.99p, which includes 2 chicken, a drink(fanta of course, orange fizzy drink, although this time the fizz was apparently been sucked away, therefore no bubbles or fizz for me). ate my chicken with the loaf of bread that i bought. i think chicken taste better with a medium such as bread. it some how diludes the slaty taste of these kfc chickens! drank my drink, smoked my smoke and of to the toilet.
SAVE ONESELVE FROM SOAP TRAGEDY
today was however, extremely unfortunate . i did my business, dont ask what. i went to the sink and push meself some liquid doap, and thetrust my palms toward the automatic-sensor-water-dispensing unit, and walla!, no water... eh, ...eh, whats happening....bloody fcuk. water aint coming out and i got greasy subsance on my palm, and it looks like i just wanked my self(masturbated, for the not so England english educated street wise punk style talk, most probably learned from rater crude and good english paper such as the daily sport, which rather have many nice pictures of girls and boobs, should rename it daily boobs!,,,, nothing much about sports, more about the female body and also relationships... dont get me wrong , i dont buy the paper, i just picked it up from some sorry sods trash can, tons of it!...one mans trash is another mans treasure).... anyway... back to the story....continueing : FCUK! me hands just wanked itself and no water to wash it off!
to my suprise, girls from the other washroom kept barging in to the mens toilet, looking for water. then a staff came in to inspect the trouble, he said 'no water?' and then just left. ok, there solves the problem. water should be coming now since staff has been alerted to a major serious impendind disasterous problem of major proportions. i waited and waited. minutes pass, new patrons to St. Loo's chuch kept on coming, some of them gave me a queer look upon the glistening substance upon my hand which i trust out from my body. damn! no solution. when all was gone and the chuch of instant relief was empty, i went back to the only toilet booth and flushed the damn thing to see if there was any water that came with the flush. as of now, if you could analyze every instant and steps of this tragedy, you would begin to understand that i did not flush the toilet upon relieving my water properties into it. nobody was around as i looked behind me left and right. some temptation came over me to use the most ridiculous solution that was coming to my frigid mind. to flush the toilet, to thrush palms into streaming water in bowl, to rinse of soapy substance that glistens, and to be rid of problem.... then rationality came over me and i abandoned the silly idea of using the flush to wash hands. my hands are not equivalent to shit and urea. hence, i will have to sacrifice what water i have in my bag to save my self from soap.

came out of the kfc, and found myself amidst a throng of people. now it seems there are a lot of tourist around oxford. one would wonder, what are there to see in bloody Oxford!

of course i have spent 3 months here and the place smell of acrid dull smell. anyway, i found myself hungry for some entertainment, so gingerly walked to the nearest bookstore, Brooks. they have a healthy selection of comic books for browsing. for me, it was more like reading, and nothing is better than a free read. look through the shelfs i once quite frequently visited, there were Akira books, which i almost completed the 6 books series, and also there was Hellboy comic books. i only read to two series of Hellboy, since the other series could not be found in the Oxfordshire Public library. so i read Hellboy: Counqueror Worm. i was ok for a book, just thrashy entertainment to while away the time.

time to continue on my journey of backpacking adventure. i walked all the way from bookstore to train station. i asked for a train ticket from Oxford to Bath. i always wanted to go to Bath since one of my Icq pals who gave me the strengh and courage to brave through english waters, was living quite near there. well, not near in means of walking distance, although one could well die walking trying, but thats just another story. she was living in Bristol, and from what i heared, bristol does not look as good as Bath. just like a comparison of thrash and flower pottery some say. so, persih the thought of going to Bristol. come to think of it, Bristol sure sounds like a brand name of some tooth whitening product, or just some chewing gum. it sure sounds familiar though.

so, the ticket to ride cost 9.90p just for a not coming back trip, that means one way. the train that i borded was indeed as its name sake, First Class. the seats are comfortable and spacious. there is also a table between the seats to put food or any books. it was indeed an exciting time because this is the first time i have been on a train, excluding the subways in London or the LRT in Kuala Lumpur.the scenery around the train is just nice. my train ride was not direct, i had to change trains at a place called Didcot. i came of the train and went into the station. feeling curious, i asked around for a map of Didcot and got it. i over heard a station attendant saying there was a unattended bag at the station. soon promply the police arrived to inspect the bag. such time are these that caution has been put to the maximum, such sad times. so, i went exporing Didcot town, it was truly small, but it has a serene and quite feel to it. i kinda like it. i came across a chinese takeaway shop and i promptly went inside to inquire whether there was any job up for grabs. i left my phone number quietly went back to the station. i took another train that went pass Swindon. passing swindon i saw over the road, many police men, so curiously, i jump of the train... not jump literally, by departed at Swindon station. went down and of to the scene of the crime or tragedy, it sure looks like another bomb threat. sadly no, it was just a collission course between a superbike and a land rover. looks kinda bad from the blood spewed over the road. asked a lady who works in a chinese takeaway shop, saying in cantonese that the bikers legs were flown off.... flown off? what does that mean, anyway, the poor son of a bitch's fate rest with the hospital, not mine. so i walked back to the station and found a bar near it. had a cold beer (2.50) , since it was drizzling outside. swindon has many buildings but i did not explore them all. so i was back in the train, heading towards bath. over the intercom in the train the person announced that snadwiches were half price and is accompanied by a free drink. so knowing it was nearing 8pm, i went to the rear train to get a sandwich and a drink of coke for a mere 1.50p. i did another stop at Chippenham, had my dinner there on one of the benches. chippenham seems like a very small place, just a stop area for the train. nothing to do there, so off i went to catch a train to my final destination at Bath.

i was already dark in Bath when i reach there, the trip from Oxford to bath might have taken around less than 2 hours, but my trip was at least 3 hours pluss because of my curiosity of the stops that the train went by. i found the motel called Backpack travellers lodge. thankfully there was one bed left in the motel. i paid 16 quid for the night and was not expecting luxury. my room was a 4 bedder, two double decker beds the doors cant be locked and the showers spewed forth cold water. that night i did not wash properly, albeit the name of the town was bath. i had no shampoo, no soap, so all i could do was just rinse my body with water. horror of horrors was that the bathroom was unisex and the baths them selves were only covered by a plastic sheet, no doors. truly european experience this is. came back into my room and found 3 european looking girls.... nest time i fill you the details.